The Sting
The Sting

We invite representatives from all our competitors – Waitrose, Sainsbury’s, Asda, Tesco – to a lovely end-of-year dinner. We make out we’re just a food supplier giving them a Christmas treat: some corporate sucking up.

After they’ve enjoyed a superb meal of pheasant and duck and the best wine, the wall at the back would be drawn back to reveal a Lidl store.

Yes, all that food they’ve enjoyed was from the enemy: little old Lidl.

Naturally we’d be secretly filming all of this, capturing their reactions as they tuck in and comment. It would also be great to capture some of them quickly scurrying away. It’s worse than being caught in a brothel. Legally, some pixelating would be necessary. That’s fine. It would just add to the comedy / drama.

This is a sting. And boy does it hurt.